I got a few personal comments from people about it, and most of them seemed to assume he was an obnoxious acquaintance. In fact he is a person I have looked up to for a long time, ever since I spent a semester in Israel at 19 years old. It was a pivotal time in my life. For better or worse, the people I met during that time affected me profoundly. Some of them I put deep in my heart. For the most part, I never took them out.
That makes sense for your friends. Bonds forged in extant circumstances are often strong beyond reasoning. But your teachers?
Eh. That's my par for the course.
My college years featured quite a few middle-aged male professors that I put up on pedestals. It didn't matter the school or class, I always sat in front, rapt with attention. Adoring. I can't tell you how many times I sat in their offices, correcting essay mistakes, asking for advice, crying over boys. Overall begging these founts of knowledge and wisdom "will you be my DADDY FIGURE????"
At the time I didn't understand any of that. All I knew was that I wanted someone to realllllly look up to. I wanted someone whom I could model as my ideal spouse. I wanted them to tell me how to do life, because it was super confusing. That seemed reasonable to me, not an indicator of the deep void of disappointment I had over my own father.
In Israel though, the combination of a place that I was falling in love with, along being totally wired on vast amounts of information and brain activity, created the perfect storm of daddy-issues-itis. Bill is, was special to me, and continues to be, even though I'm 31 now and know he's a flawed human. *shrug* And so I put up with obnoxious comments.
In a strange coincidence, yesterday my mom told me she'd discovered a few emails I'd sent her from my time in Israel. I thought they would be long and filled with information, but no. They're rather brief. I'm more struck by how happy and carefree I seemed. Ah to be young and in love.
------------
From: Leah
To: (Mom email addy)
Subject: rain!
Date: Thu, 27 Jan 2000 15:20:49 -0800
Mom-
It is raining here really bad. My fleecelined rain coat is working out
really well. However, it appeares that I
have inadvertantly left my Old Navy Anorak at home, in Barrett's backpack. Do you know if he found it and gave it back
or anything? If not, it is okay,
although it would be nice to have it. I
don't have much time on the computer so I have to go now. I am
having a great time though and I will write you more later,
like tomorrow! :)
Peace-out, Leah
From: Leah
To: (Mom's email addy)
Subject: Re: Hi
Date: Sun, 30 Jan 2000 18:32:13 +0200
Mom-
Didn't you get the last e-mail that I sent? I sent you one about the snow. After I wrote it it snowed a lot more. It snowed like all day Friday. By the time it was done we must have had at
least 11 inches. We measured on a bench
early Friday and it was already 8 inches, and then it snowed quite a bit more
after that. This guy from New York state
said that they hadn't gotten snow like that where he lived in a couple
years. There was so much. Another girl and I made a snowman, and it
looked really nice.
Also, we had a snowball fight and took our group picture in
the snow. You can see a bunch of the
snow pictures at: www.geocities.com/ibex00
The site also has our calender on it and a some other cool stuff that
you guys would probably find interesting.
I did not realize that it was so soon that you guys were
coming. I am looking forward to the fam
coming, but I am not homesick at all. It
is wierd because this is the first place that I have never been homesick
at. I love it here!! I am afraid that I will probably get homesick
for Israel by the time to go home. :)
The time is going by so fast already.
I absolutely love my classes here, and my teachers are awesome, and my
roommate is really cool, she is from Biola, and yes, she knows Jennifer (sort
of).
Well I will write more later, a bunch of people are waiting
to use the
computer so I have to go. Luv ya!
Peace-out, Leah
From: Leah
To: (Mom's email addy)
Subject: Eretz Yisrael - That's Yiddish for Israel
Date: Tue, 01 Feb
2000 10:16:47 +0200
Boker Tov,
That's good morning in Hebrew, although at this point I
should probably say lila tov, which is goodnight for you! :) Actually, I really only know how to spell
these words in Hebrew so, the English pronounciation is really only an
approximation. As you can see, my Hebrew
is coming along, although it is quite difficult. We already have all of the alphabet memorized
so we can read stuff, and the language is actually rather simpler than English,
but it is still difficult learning. My
Hebrew class is about 14, so we are all pretty close and had our first Hebrew
party/study session the other night, which was a smashing success. :)
I am really, really loving all of my classes here. Incidently, it is really cool because my
roommate Amber and I (she is the one in the snow picture with me) have the
exact same schedule as each other, so that is nice. Also, almost all of our classes are with the
same teacher, so that also simplifies things.
Last night we watched a movie on the establishment of the modern state
of Israel and it was sooo interesting.
It had apparently won an academy award and was narrated by Morgan
Freeman. It was called "The Long
Journey Home". I just realized that
I never really knew all of that stuff about Israel before, and was never taught
about it in any of my history classes. It is amazing mhow truly ignorant the
general public can be.
Well I have to go to Jewish Thought & Culture right now,
Shalom-Shalom!!
Peace, Leah
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